Your Life Will Be Defined By This

Pretty much the entire narrative of your life comes down to one thing:

What you do when things don't go your way.

Of course, we spend the bulk of our time trying to increase the odds that things WILL go our way. It's why we're clamoring for experience, knowledge, and connections.

But no matter what we gain (or think we can predict), reality will not meet our expectations because while we try to act in and direct our own story, the rest of the world has us as an extra in theirs.

Control is merely an illusion.

You're a cool guy when you're in a good mood? Bravo.

That presentation went exactly as planned? Awesome.

Relationship really buzzing right now? Enjoy it.

You don't need advice when the deal went your way.

Relationships don't strengthen on good days.

Businesses are not made on highest revenue months.

The pain, the hurdle, the "no" is coming. What you do next defines you are (or who you will become).

I'm reminded of this because my good friend Antonio Neves and his family recently lost their house to the LA fires. That certainly wasn't in their plan.

But he's been showing up every day making the best decisions he can in the moment with grace and gratitude. It's inspiring.

And I'm reminded of this in my own life. Late last year, my wife and I transferred our second (and last) embryo into our surrogate but the pregnancy didn't take. There was a narrative we told ourselves of what we wanted our life to be (2 boys; brothers), but now that is not the case. Sure, there was sadness, but then there was gratitude for even having Zayn (our son).

And now we have to make the best decisions for our family moving forward.

No "Why me?" Only "What now?"

Life is about creating patterns and habits in a world of constantly shifting stimulus.

The sea might be calm right now, but those swells are coming.

While we enjoy your company when it's clear out, we'll know who you are when the storm arrives.

You are what you do when things don't go your way.